Dienstag, 31. Januar 2012

Buttermilk and spit

Trying to kill two birds with one stone tonight as I worked with the Trifecta prompt and my IndieInk challenge. Here's what came out:
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Image: Dark Angels Tarot by Luca Russo. Lo Scarabeo (c) 2010

Buttermilk and spit

Christen slipped out of bed and crossed the room avoiding the clatter of clothes, empty bottles, tissue paper and torn condom wrappers – landmarks of a seriously good time. A sideways glance at the alarm clock revealed it was around noon, too bloody early to be wondering who the naked bloke in her bed was and definitely too bloody early to be thinking any further.
The fluorescent tube above the bathroom mirror flickered to life. The woman staring back at her was still the image of the girl who had arrived here three years ago with a backpack full of wild dreams and a few crumpled bank notes in the back pocket of her jeans. Matured perhaps with the faint traces of the partying and her ongoing colombian love affair. Nothing in the world to make you feel so fucking brilliant plus it helped keep your weight down. She’d have to take it down a notch or two though before her looks went. Her only claim to fame and livelihood.
She smiled at the pale, slightly undernourished face which gave her this sullen somewhat unearthly appearance. Like buttermilk and spit, nan used to say.
“You need some colour!”, picking up the lava red lipstick she traced her lips on the glass. “There you go.” She grimaced at the red smear.

She’d better fix herself some coffee and get whatshisface out on the street before Paolo had a chance to show up. After all he did pay her rent. No rush though. At this time of day on a Sunday he’d probably be sitting down to lunch with his wife feigning an interest in fundraisers, interior decoration and society gossip.

She didn’t spend too much time worrying about how long she could maintain this lifestyle, not yet anyway. Brings you closer to God.
“Do your best to keep the old geezer good and pissed off at you”, she said to her mirror image. “Then at least you know you have his attention”.



For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Kurt challenged me with ""God's hatred is better than his indifference." -Chuck Palahniuk." and I challenged Michael with ""He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man." - Samuel Johnson"

Trifecta Challenge this week:

image noun \ˈi-mij\

1
: a reproduction or imitation of the form of a person or thing;especially : an imitation in solid form : statue
2
a : the optical counterpart of an object produced by an optical device (as a lens or mirror) or an electronic device
b : a visual representation of something: as (1) : a likeness of an object produced on a photographic material (2) : a picture produced on an electronic display (as a television or computer screen)
3
a : exact likeness : semblance

b : a person strikingly like another person

4
a : a tangible or visible representation : incarnation
b archaic : an illusory form : apparition

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I really had to laugh. When I entered a bit of this post at the "I write like..." thingy and this is what it came up with (it's only funny when you read the IndieInk challenge I got). 




I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Kommentare:

  1. I read your stories, but I'm having issues logging in with wordpress or OpenID and my blogger blogs I don't do anymore. I hope you have received my return comments in response to yours on my blog.

    I really like this. I want to know more about her, how did she get to this place, where is she going, what are her hopes and dreams. I hope you come back to revisit this one.

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  2. Wow! This grabs you right away and doesn't let go!

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  3. Thanks you guys. :)

    I have had a number of people saying they couldn't comment on my blogs (this one and the tarot one). I don't know why. I tried fiddling with the settings but they were already set to OpenID. I'll probably set them to allow comments by anyone. Maybe that helps.

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  4. Dirty, dirty, complicated girl. I could practically smell her and see her smudged appearance. Nice.
    Came from the Trifecta link.

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  5. I loved the double meaning of 'keeping him mad at you'; that it could be God or Paolo. I felt like maybe this was the only way she knew how to connect with men.

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    1. She means both of them and she certainly has her issues with men. :) Thanks for reading & commenting.

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  6. Hi from Indie Ink! This was a great response to the prompt, you painted a wonderful portrait of place where indifference abounds. I really enjoyed this, well done.

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  7. She's an intriguing character. I love the comment: her ongoing colombian love affair

    It tells you so much about her and what she is willing to do. Somehow I don't think the devil would have trouble getting her to sell him her soul considering her relationship with his counterpart.

    Great combo of the two prompts!

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    1. Thank you. Yes, I think she would easily sell her soul at least a part of her would.

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  8. Excellent use of both prompts. "Do your best to keep the old geezer good and pissed off at you” Makes me wonder too if this refer to God or Paola, or both.

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  9. Excellent character study, it leaves me wanting more...

    Pamela

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    1. Thank you. I'm hoping to give her the room she deserves in NaNoWriMo this year (if I get round to participating and completing it).

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  10. Perfect title! Who would you have play her in a movie? I like edgy characters, like Lisbeth Salandar in The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo.

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    1. Hm...good question actually. Perhaps a young Carrie-Ann Moss. I haven't read or seen any of the Stieg Larsson novels/films but I've seen some pictures of Noomi Rapace...she's not bad for Christen either. :)

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  11. I loved "backpack full of wild dreams" and the fact that she puts the lipstick on the mirror instead of on herself. Great piece. Had to read it twice to absorb it all.

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  12. Nicely done - love the way you combine the two prompts. Love the red smear of lipstick across her lips. Love her reflection on needing to change but not quite being ready. And that double secret life she lives - so well done.

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  13. Another really good response to a Trifecta prompt, Satu. I love the vivid descriptions in this piece and I'd love to know a lot more about this girl and where the story is going next. Hope you join us for the weekend prompt.

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